A friend sent this to me today and despite the wrong-ness of it all, I have magnanimously decided to share this with all of you. Although you figure if you swap out Chelsea with whoever it will still work.
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A bloke goes into Stanstead Airport and manages to eventually get into the departure lounge where his flight home is being called. All around him there are overturned tables, smashed windows, computer terminals broken, upturned chairs and crowd control barriers lying on the floor.
"Christ, what's happened here?" he asks one of the ground crew.
"Oh yeah...", he replies "Absolutely hopeless .... we had the Chelsea players in here this morning filming the new Nike ad".
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Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Andriy Shevchenko?
A: Clinton can score.
========================4 surgeons are taking a tea break:
1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
2nd surgeon says "Nope, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
3rd surgeon says "Well you should try electricians. Everything inside them is colour coded."
4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and a**es are interchangeable."
========================Unsubstantiated reports seem to suggest that Chelsea will be releasing a new record at the end of the month, "I'm forever blowing Doubles"! (ed - I guess quadruples is more correct, but the idea is there)
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I've heard that Stamford Bridge has arguably the best pitch in the Premiership. Well...not entirely surprising considering all the sh*t that has been on there.